Ever felt like your'e having an orgasm in the top of your stomach?

I could write about the sun or the clouds, about fire and water, about dust and grit. All are words i choose to replace harder, more honest words.

Sometimes I have nothing to write.
Sometimes I get distracted or all I see are images I can't put in to words.

I have realised latley that it doesn't exist. And that you shouldn't live your life looking for someone else. It is a waste. And every day you get is a gift. From God, that elephant with lots of arms or just the universe, what ever your beliefs each day has been given to you. So it is ungreatful to waste your days. Although it is easier said than done. Happiness can only be found in yourself, it shouldn't have to come from someone else.

But how can something that feels so right and so indistructable, be wrong? When all the signs are there, like flipping a coin 10 times and the same answer comming up 9 times out of 10, or songs comming on one after the other on those days that are too weird to ignore. Like the word on the back of a van then a sign on the motorway. Like knowing exactly when someone is upset when you're miles away and just "get a feeling".
I could go on for ages. So how can it be wrong?


Because as well as each day being a gift, it is also a test. To see if you can carry on, because the universe likes to test you. Like a little boy burning ants through a magnifying glass. We are toys to the gods.

But each day you pass, you pass a test. And that you should be proud of. And that is what keeps me going.